Most Infamous Cross Country Race

A decade ago, the most infamous cross-country meet went down. I not only witnessed it, but also raced in the race. Hence why I’m telling the story.

First before getting the story started. A basic understanding of cross country is required to ride this ride.

So, a mini education for you. Varsity races consists of 7 runners, the top 5 for each team score, that leaves 6th as the tie breaker and 7th as the scratch. The runner’s finishing position is their score. Lowest overall of the team scores wins. Pretty simple I mean its just running a long distance how complex can it get.

My team was pretty fuckiing good my senior year. Like best team my school had seen since the 60’s.

And we acted like it.

After 3 years of mediocrity and losing we started letting our presence known when we’d win. I doubt you’d know this, but there was a pretty serious online presence to high school cross country where I’m from. We contributed a lot. I had about 20 different accounts for trolling on the main Message Board. Being so tapped in we knew what kind of times our competition were running. And this meet was going to be the easiest of the year. Our varsity had the top 7 personal records or PR’s. That’s pretty rare.

We didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

Our pre-race tradition was to have a team meal at fazolli’s and abuse their bottomless bowl deal. Surprisingly its now a chick fila. Too many bottomless bowls I guess. This was the last meet of the regular season. This was just the city meet. We had higher sights that season, we were more focused on Sectionals and regionals the next week. So the game-plan was to run 7 wide the whole race and run it like a workout. And try and tie at the line just to see what would happen.

Yah know cocky high school shit.

So, it’s race day now. We’re at the line and I’m taking trash to a few friends from cross country camp…

(yes, I went to cross country camp. A week running two a days with some of the weirdest people you’ll ever meet. Great times tho.. )

These guys are getting a little irked you could tell. They knew they were fucked. The gun goes off and my team gets out fast all seven in a big ass pack. Few other runners from teams go with us but we drop them by the first Kilometer. So, the plan is holding up and the crowd isn’t pleased as we pass. All of us pulling away having a conversation and making jokes mid race. Eventually the plan all starts to fall apart. We already have a 30 second gap and there’s no reason to push the pace anymore. Yet one of my teammates, spencer was pushing the pace. The pack was starting to break apart.

I yell at spencer

“Slow the fuck down motherfucker.”

Spectators not happy with that.

Spencer yells back at me

“Just run faster you pussy.”

Spectators really not happy now.

The pack splits beyond repair. There’s a lead lead pack and a slow lead pack now. Still running 1-7, with maybe a kilometer left. I am firmly in the slow pack running with 4-7 while 1-3 continue to push the pace. As we come up on the straight away, we here the crowd literally boo-ing. And I’m a little shocked - what the fuck we’ve been little shits but no way we deserve this. As we get even closer, I can see the front runners just chilling getting boo’d. They literally stopped at the finish line and wait for us. Spectators are so mad yelling to finish the race. Our coach is about to have an aneurism. Eventually the public humiliation is too much and one of the runners crosses the line and wins the race. After the picket cross the other begrudgingly runner’s finish. what the fuck ! our optics couldn’t be worse as the next 4 runners finish all from the same team that everyone already hates. No one is happy when I finish, which sucks because that was the only race I didn’t puke after all season. But I was too busy dying of laughter at my teammates. The worst possible way to sweep a cross country meet.

If the boo’s weren’t enough there was a video, long lost to the early 2010’s internet, made it to the message boards. Where we were already hated for our trolling and overall immature behavior. And the thread had a field day with it. They were big mad. I have spent too much time the past decade searching for that thread or the video. But the website deleted everything prior to 2014, which is mad sad.

Easily the most disrespectful race I’ve ever been apart of.