Eastern Conference Over/Unders

The east over-under win totals just dropped thanks to points bets an official sponsor of the pacers last year, just not this website. But shouts out anyway. I don’t gamble because I’m the opposite of King Midas, in that any bet I touch turns to shit. But if I was a betting man here are my picks for the eastern conference this year.

Let’s start out with what I believe to be the upper echelon of the east.

Bucks, Nets, and Sixers.

Now listen here while I tell yah how I really feel about these teams before I state any kind of biased ass opinions. I think the Nets are fuggin awesome. I think Kyrie is so freaking awesome, as a hooper and as a human. The media is constantly out to get him but he could still break 7.7869 billion people’s ankles. Babies included. KD is a fucking all-time great and Harden is cool too. A bit of an afterthought for me on this team but nonetheless he’s probably the best third go to on a team. The bucks really impressed me this postseason they are just a phenomenal basketball team. If your weakest link is your head coach and you just won the finals you are chilllllin. The sixers will stay in this conversation until Joel Embiid is no longer the most physically dominant center in the east. He anchors the team offensively and defensively. But Ben Simmons, doc rivers, and injury issues constantly loom over this team, but hey we all have our flaws. This team’s flaws pale in comparison to their strengths so they still remain a legitimate contender.

So the over-under spread lies at

Nets – 55.5

Bucks – 54.5

Sixers 51.5

First off the nets.. I’m taking the …….. drum roll please…… under. 55.5 is a tall task for a team with this amount of confidence and complete disregard for the regular season. They can win 48 games easily without trying but if their stars sit in bunches that 56 to 60 range is a big ask. They have the potential for sure but the question is how badly do they want it. I don’t believe they ask or answer that question until the playoffs.

The deer dudes are right there behind them on the list with a 54.5. I’m taking over to the grave. They are the reigning champs and are bringing back bobby portis. Like that team got steeze and will be steamrolling teams left and right in the regular season. I’m not only taking their over but I’m going to go ahead and say they lock in that number 1 seed in the east.

The sixers…. The biggest question of this offseason was what jersey will ben Simmons be wearing this upcoming season…. As of right now, he’ll continue to dawn the red white and blue in Philly. I can see this going a few ways, the chip on ben’s should lead him on a revenge tour that will make NBA Twitter collapse in on itself or he could hold out until he’s traded… there are other options sure but that’s just kind of where my mind is at on Simmons right now. The addition of Drummond is a dumb move… I wonder if Tyrese Maxey can carry the team if Simmons is moved. I say yes but I’m not really 100%. For right now I think 52 wins is too damn high for this team in turbulence. Gimme the under with extra whiz.

 The next little bunch includes the Heat, Hawks, and Celtics – This group has some real movers and shakers. The heat was active in the offseason while the Hawks were active in the Playoffs… then there’s the Celtics… meh.

Heat 48.5

Hawks 47.5

Celtics 47.5

The heat has Lowry next to Bam and Jimmy which could be lethal next to the shooters they have with Jae Crowder and Ducan Robinson. Also, Dipo is on a prove it contract that’s just an absurd amount of talent. Injuries will be this team’s biggest foe this season. The heat intrigues me. They have the talent, depth, and a great coach. But for some reason 48.5 seems pretty high to me. I don’t think this team is a 50 win kind of squad but it wouldn’t surprise me. For now, though I’m going to ride the under in a close one. If it was 46.5 I take the over but it’s not so under it is.

The Hawks are a lot like the Heat with a lot of talent, depth, and a great coach. Yeah I said it, Nate is a great coach, even though I may not have said that after the bubble. I believe his coach style is so counterculture to the hawk’s playstyle that it actually helps make the team well-rounded and efficient against the toughest of opponents. I’m going to take them over. I firmly believe the Hawks could roll into the playoffs as a 3 seed if Trae Young continues his antihero story arch. Also, they drafted sharieff Cooper which is at least 1.5 wins.

I have little to no faith in the Celtics. I think they are a wonky af franchise right now and will need to unwonky themselves if they want to surpass 48 wins. I don’t think that’ll happen. They have talent but it seems like the talent doesn’t work well together so maybe they’ll need to move pieces and whatnot to right the wonk. I’m taking the under and running with it.

The Middle tier of win totals is where the money is at! The Pacers, Bulls, and Knicks. The bedrock of the eastern conference from long ago in the ’90s. Very interesting bunch here.

Pacers- 43.5

Knicks – 40.5

Bulls – 39.5

The Pacers are a puzzling bunch this year. Rick Carlisle and Chris Duarte have the boy buzzin on the web. But I wouldn’t sleep on Isaiah Jackson making an impact here like I wouldn’t sleep in a portapotty at the Indy 500. I think the pacers neither overreacted nor underreacted this offseason. Running it back with a core that hasn’t had the chance to play together yet while also switching up some big components. This team almost has too much depth if that’s a thing. It may be a big boost come playoff time having players playing fewer minutes in hopes to keep the legs fresh for the playoffs. That being said 43.5 wins is a complete toss-up. As closely as I follow this team I’m not sure what to expect. The pacers pump out 38 win seasons like a spas-12 in MW2. But 43.5 is a total coin flip to me… heads.. okay I’m taking the over.

The Knicks… My eyes are bleeding just writing this paragraph. But the knicks are a good team. And I think they got even better with Kemba (Celtics make you worse) and Fournier (Celtics make you worse) lol shit this is a Celtics graveyard over here. I’m going to take this over pretty firmly.

The Bulls have been laying in wait for years to finally make big moves and this year was the year they pounced. The bulls have young talent in Patrick Williams and Coby White. They have guys starting to fill their potential in Lonzo. Veteran leadership in Vooch and Derozan. Plus the possibility of Zach Lavine going full superstar mode. Yet they only are projected 39.5 wins. I think this team is capable of quite a few things. Playoffs- definitely, Home court in the first round – sure, complete implosion and a terrible season – not off the table. The pieces give me a possible cluster fuck vibe me but at the same time, that’s a team I don’t feel confident against. I believe the bulls over 39.5 is the second biggest lock of this list other than the Celtics under.

Now we’re venturing out of the playoff teams into the bottom feeders. Where I believe there may be some real value still.

Raptors – 37.5

Hornets – 36.5

Wizards – 34.5

Cavs – 28.5

Pistons – 25.5

Magic 24

Raptors hopefully will be back to playing home games next year. But I haven’t heard anything concrete about it yet. They’ve added Precious Achuwa, Scottie Barnes, and every 6’ 9” player available. I think Nick Nurse may have been exposed now that there’s plenty of film on his team. Fred Van Fleet and Pascal take up the raptors torch while many folks (me included) doubt them. 38 wins is a possibility but if they’re stuck in Tampa again they could easily be another lottery team. I’m saying the under looks as good as the beautiful bay of Tampa.

The hornets are a dark horse team of mine. LaMelo and Bridges are an exciting duo with a healthy Gordon Hayward and a young center in Kai Jones this team may turn a few heads. 36.5 seems like a lot for this team but I could see this squad vying for that 6th seed by the end of this season. Let me get a hit of that over.

Wizards – These guys were hard to follow this offseason making hella moves for average players just to piss beal off I guess. Whatever I’ll say under and move on from the bullet wizards

Cavs could be good if they were good a diversifying their draft picks. 2 young guards and 2 young centers could make things complicated developmentally. Okoro is a baller and if he goes crazy his sophomore season they may sniff 30 wins but I just don’t see them putting together much of an effort against solid teams, so these guys also will get the under bet.

The pistons are an okay basketball team. Not bad. Not good. Just okay. 26 wins are not out of the question. Jerami Grant is good. They made some weird moves and drafted Cade Cunningham. They have promised and by the promise I mean I don’t think a 26 win season is out of the question. I’ll take the narrowest of overs for the Detroit Rock City.

Magic doesn’t seem to care much for the whole winning thing after they shipped away anyone over the age of 25 with value last year. They also don’t believe in staying healthy because anyone who wasn’t trade last year was injured. Some of that isn’t the team’s fault or even controllable but still, this team is mad young and I don’t expect much other than a few Jonathan Issac Highlights when he’s healthy. One last under to go.

Thanks for reading my bullshit.