Mental Health and Me
Over the past few years I’ve been battling depression, and these past few months have NOT helped. There is just so much fear going around that it feels too tense to breath at times. I try my best to keep a “don’t give a shit” aura around me and never take anything serious. But yah know this is serious and I do give a shit about this. Things do not look like they’re going to let up anytime soon. Shorter days, Longer nights always made me more depressed, but now you add in a global pandemic and civil unrest all while in an election year. Like cut us some god damn slack. If there’s ever been a time to take care of your mental wellbeing it would be now. Even if you are on your shit take some time to reach out to people around you, there is a decent chance someone isn’t doing so good. Who knows it could bring someone back from the depths.
Back in college, I was lost. Constantly trying to fit in and was so unsure of myself I was going crazy. Its hard to look back on that period of my life. There was a point where I was so down I thought self-harm was the answer. I’ll spare the details, because its still not easy to speak on. I was closer than I like to admit. I can’t tell you the amount of joy I wake up with every morning because I didn’t go thru with. I don’t know what could have happened to me if even a few things didn’t go my way that day.
Shit man that keeps me up.
It gets better.
just keep saying it.
It gets better.
It gets better.
A big key I found, is letting people in. Trusting others to help is hard, but its okay to be vulnerable. A support system is so valuable. Parents, siblings, friends, enemies, shit I don’t care just find someone to talk to. Hell, I’d love to be apart of you’re support system. If you need help please reach out. Times are tough but if we work together, its going to take a lot more bring us down. Shit I can’t reiterate this enough, but it isn’t easy. You still might get hurt by people you let in, but you might be surprised how much stronger you’ve become.
Depression really sucks, it still affects me just about every day. Its not easy its pretty fucking annoying at times. I’m going to list a few ways I deal with my shit. I am who I am and these work for me, I don’t know if they will have the same effect for others. But it’s a good strategy to know what works for you and sticking to it.
- I don’t really know how to put this gracefully. But I found myself enabling my own depression and letting it win. Sometimes it literally feels like a battle. Just keep getting up.
- Avoid loops: If you know you know. I suffer big time from late nite loops, but they can hit you any time of the day. Break the cycle of overthinking. Its really key to avoid this habit or have a way to break out of a loop.
- Push yourself into things you’ve avoided: working out, managing my diet, quitting juul. Challenging yourself can be a great way to start what I call a positive snowball. You know in cartoons when a little snowball rolls down a hill and before long its massive. That’s the aim here. Set a goal, keep it easy, give it your all. If you succeed then make the next one a little harder. If you don’t get it, then try again. Its not a big deal to fail. Just keep going until you feel yourself getting on a roll.
- Running cold water over my left hand; oddly personal thing I like to do that calms me down and I doubt will help you but maybe there’s a weird quirk for you to do
- Playlist therapy: This might already be something but I just find songs that fit a mood and then I play the living shiiiiiiit out of the playlist until it annoys me so much that I move on from the playlist along with the emotions attached.
I wanted to write this for anyone out there who is going thru shit to let them know they are not alone. We can beat this, together.
